Saturday, 4 February 2017

Grief is greedy.

A dear friend of mine made this statement when Mum died 4 years ago. I didn't really understand it, not until my sister died last month. Now I get it. I wish I didn't but fuck, do I get it. Just a couple of 'best friends' (relatively new friends let's be honest) who are outraged, appalled, concerned and livid. Unable to control their feelings, not thinking of the little minds who pick up on their bullshit excuses and reasons. Truthfully, anyone can be upset and all of us can grieve but no one has the right to claim anything when the only person who could tell the truth is dead. Fact. 

But to cause trouble by calling social services? That's absolutely not what my sister would expect. To wish for any one of the four children to go into care rather than be with family? Regardless of what this malicious person thinks, trust me, there is no better option than for each child to have the chance of true, family love. Luckily, the law agrees with me so we are safe. It is with great sadness that my sisters death has created such nasty emotions in a couple of human beings that typically taint a very private time. The memories of this sudden horror will fade but I will never forget unfortunately. 

Top tip to all of us- be very careful what you say when someone dies. Bite your lip and think twice before an expletive, a suggestion or a joke comes out of your mouth. From experience, certain remarks are very hard to forget. 

Another shift.

I'm just going to get myself a cup of coffee because it is the smallest of small pleasures in my life that keep me going. Truly, I am a ...