Sunday, 31 July 2016

Still nothing?

I'm afraid so. I have so many words that I could use, the joy of the english language, poetry of using one particular word when no other will do but I've been violated. It's been stolen from me. 

That sounds a little dramatic, even for me but it's true. It has only taken the wrong eyes to peer in at my stories with the agenda of tripping me up and I can write no more. Not on here anyway. Oh, didn't you know? 

Has anything changed? Much but of the same.  

Oh, do you want to know what has changed? Ask me. Use your voice.

I can tell you that I'm massively disappointed that people can be so unkind just because they feel like it. The difference is that I am not opening my door to it. Not anymore. It floods my home if I do and we are all affected by the unkindness and the spikey comments. 

Boring but true- do as you would be done by. 


Wednesday, 6 July 2016

Have you changed your mind?

Nope. 

Really?

Really. I meant what I said before.

But this is still something so I thought you might have reconsidered..

I haven't I'm afraid. It's different now.

In what way?

I get stuck on my words. I think too much.

Does it matter? This is yours after all..

It matters to me. 

Shame. I liked what you wrote. It was real. It was brave. You wrote what we all thought.

It wasn't intentional. But thank you. I just wrote. And now I can't. I'm stuck.

Sunday, 3 July 2016

Is this real?

I keep being asked..

Have you really, truly stopped? 

Yes.

Could you maybe start again?

I could. 

Do you want to?

No.  

How come? Because, let's face it, you've said this before..

Because every word I write is being looked at with the wrong agenda. 

Do you regret writing any of it?

No, I don't think so.

Do you have anything to add to anyone who might have been written about over the last 7 years?

Hmm, only that if you've been a part of my life then I only ever wrote about you because I cared about you. Good and bad. You will have meant something, somehow.

Is that true?

Right now it is true.

Do you always write the truth?

Yes, it is true at the time of writing it.

What does that mean?

It means that I wrote the truth.

Can I ask you something?

Anything, go for it.

If there is one thing you could change, what would it be?

I would have trusted my gut instinct from the start. It is never wrong.

In what way?

It's hard to explain but my gut knows the answer before I know the question.

Where will you be in 7 years time?

Right here I hope. 

I meant where in the world?

I know what you meant. 

Thank you Rose. I appreciate your honesty.

You're welcome. 

Shall I close the door?

Nope, leave it open.




Another shift.

I'm just going to get myself a cup of coffee because it is the smallest of small pleasures in my life that keep me going. Truly, I am a ...